Debating the Romanticism or Lack of Communication in a Surprise Proposal: Insights from Reddit


A thought-provoking discussion on r/AmItheA**hole Reddit thread sparks a debate on whether a surprise proposal is a romantic gesture or a failure of communication. The post has garnered significant attention as Redditors share their opinions and arguments, contributing to an interesting discourse. Let’s delve into the details of the post and the diverse perspectives presented by Reddit users. Read More:

Background Information:

The post begins with the poster explaining their initial plan to propose on a specific day, which they later decided to change without discussing the matter with their partner. Consequently, they surprised their partner a few days later with the proposal, leaving them completely caught off guard.

The OP’s Justification:

The poster presents their reasoning behind not informing their partner about the change in plans. They argue that by withholding information and opting for a spontaneous proposal, they were able to witness their partner’s genuine surprise and happiness.

Furthermore, the OP asserts that their partner had no reason to expect the proposal on the originally planned day, negating the need for prior communication. They also emphasize their desire to maintain the element of surprise and romance, which they believe would have been compromised if they had revealed their change of heart. Read Also:

Community’s Reactions and Arguments:

Numerous Redditors express discontent with the OP’s actions and provide several counterarguments to their justification. A prevailing argument highlights the significance of communication and understanding within a relationship. By failing to discuss the change, the OP runs the risk of assuming their partner’s feelings and potentially causing confusion or disappointment.

Reddit users also point out that planning such a pivotal event without considering their partner’s emotions and opinions reflects a lack of respect and empathy. They believe that a proposal should be a joint decision, reflecting the desires and preferences of both partners.

An Alternative Perspective:

Contrary to the criticism, a handful of Redditors support the OP’s decision. They argue that surprises inject spontaneity and excitement into relationships, showcasing the adventurous nature of their bond. Some even share personal anecdotes of unexpectedly positive outcomes from proposals, emphasizing the uniqueness of each relationship and individual preferences.


Determining whether the OP acted inconsiderately or not remains subjective. While some Reddit users understand the intention behind creating an unexpected and joyous moment, others believe the lack of communication and consideration for their partner’s feelings is problematic.

This Reddit thread emphasizes the importance of open communication, empathy, and understanding in a relationship. It serves as a valuable reminder that while surprises can be thrilling, approaching significant decisions jointly is crucial to honor both partners’ emotions and avoid potential misunderstandings. Read Next: “Examining the Pros and Cons of Surprise Proposals: Insights from Reddit Discussions”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *